Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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Banned from zoo.
Again?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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