My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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