I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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