youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
