it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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