32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
