I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
