hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
