I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
