My nipple is on Facebook.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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