Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
