Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
