She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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