Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.