brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered