just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
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in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..