I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!