She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize