just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
BRING THE BAGELS
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
