she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
