I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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