Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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