all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
