this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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