Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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