Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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