yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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