my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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