respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize