If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're my little dorito
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize