So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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