try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
