Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
