It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
