Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
