i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
