there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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