party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
