Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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