and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize