i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
