His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
