What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
