apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
