:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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