He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
