wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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