I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
