I wish my penis had an off switch
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Walk of Shame today included voting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
