no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize