The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
