I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
