her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
