are you still at the devil's house?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
