Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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