You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize