I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
