but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
