We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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