I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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