my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's the barista slut.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
