i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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