You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I lost the right to judge tonight
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
