is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
