I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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