Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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