but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize